It is crazy how we feel like all we want is to grow up…be on our own so we don’t have to answer to anyone! Sometimes I wish that I still had someone to answer too….life was so much more simlpe! Even though at the time we thought that everything had to be so extreme and dramatic…life was simple and easy! We may have had to check in and answer to them for everything, but it was nothing like what real life is like!
There are things that I think of all of the time that make me really wonder! I love the fact that writing is such an outlet, but then when I write I think of so much more then I was thinking when I started writing! My writings always end up being much longer then intended!
Life is crazy…you make yourself think that you are all alone and struggling, but no one knows or cares because they aren’t experiencing it! I think that is the way that all people feel at times! Like their life is so much worse than anyone else’s around them….their world has crumbled!
It is amazing to me that I can go through hard times thinking that life will never change and I am suffering for no reason, but in the end I get through it and I am much stronger then I was in the beginning! The bible talks about that, but I always wait to go to God until I see if I can fix it myself! I don’t know why I haven’t learned yet that the only way is if God is in Control! I read a book about being Jesus’ beautiful bride…it was really uplifting and it made me realize that no matter what I have struggled with or gone through…God will always look and me and say, ” You are my precious, beautiful bride and I love you!” His love will never change…His forgiveness never changes…He will never stop welcoming up to Him!
This is my prayer:
I know, I know You love me! You desire me Lord, but I don’t feel worthy. Bring me back to Your throne, Lord God, bring me to that meeting place. I want to feel you, sense you, just know your plan will prevail. Holy Savior, please, I pray take me…take my problems…take my shame, my sorrows, and my attitude. Change it all for your will, Lord Jesus…I am Your beautiful bride! All of my past I wish could be erased, I pray that this phase of my life may end. God I need you right now…pull me out of this quick sand that I am sinking in…PLEASE before I am too deep to even breathe! I pray now Lord….take me where you want me to go! I am your beautiful bride!
I don’t know if this will mean anything to anyone that reads it, but it means a lot to me! It is definitely what helps me through the days!
